These Days
by Phoenix Firefly
Summary: While in New York for a teacher's inservice, Jack picks up a stanger and must keep the secret from Doug until he finds out that he picked up something else that night too...
1. Part I

**These Days**

Rating: R

A/N: this is my new fic everyone!!! It's a little different to the other stuff I've written but essentially the same. Lol, does that make any sense? I hope so. The song is based on a song by an Australian rock band called **Powderfinger.**

" _It's coming round again / the slowly creeping hand / of time and it's command_

_Soon enough it comes / and settles in it's place / it's shadow in my face_

_Put's pressure in my day. _

_This life well it's slipping right through my hands_

_These days turned out nothing like I had planned." _

Like it or loathe it,

ENJOY!!

* * *

The music was screaming in his ear. The last four Beam's he downed were thumping in his temples. This was the life he missed, the life he thought he had forgotten about and the life he thought he no longer craved. 

Hot, sticky, gorgeous men all dancing to the same beat, like a wave, pulsing through the room. Roaming hands, wandering minds and grinding bodies, all stacked up against each other, silently begging for the release they felt they needed from the gifted hands of a stranger.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Jack felt a hand on his ass and he turned around and smiled at the Greek god looking up and down his body. Jack's eyes met that of the shirtless wonder; trailing his hand up and down Jack's perfectly toned arm muscle.

"Sure," Jack purred and turned around to wrap an arm around the waist of his admirer. The guy lent forward to the barman.

"Two Cosmo's," he called out over the thumpa-thumpa of the club beats. He turned to Jack. "I haven't see you around here before."

Jack laughed as he picked up his drink from the bar. "That must be a first around here. I don't imagine you'd see much amongst the occasionally flashing neon lights and dark corners."

The guy smiled widely and finished his drink off, placing it on the counter behind Jack. Jack followed suit and threw back the Cosmo. He winced as the feeling of alcohol slid down his throat, burning as it did so.

"Do you dance?" the man was breathing into Jack's ear. The hot breath stopped his heart as memories from the heat of spring break during his college years came flooding back. He closed his eyes as the feeling of lust crept into his mind. The guy had picked _him_. Jack traced the contours of the man's chest down to his belly button, then suddenly looked up.

"Only when my boyfriend's out of town," he replied mischievously, inside, screaming at himself. He hadn't really said _that_ had he? He felt a inquisitivehand creep under the back of his t-shirt and explore the broad shoulders, the tight muscles spanning the back of his torso. "And is he?" the man whispered, gently grazing Jack's ear.

"I wouldn't be here if he wasn't."

Jack flung his arms around the man as they swung their hips to the pounding rhythm intoxicating all the leather-hipped boys around them, melting in a sea of eternal youth. Their lips connected in frenzied passionexploring, desperate, lustful kisses. Their tongues greeted one another and pressed forward urgentlyas if unearthing the answers to the universe inside each other's mouthsJack pulled back to catch his breath 'and the stranger suggested, with a tilt of his head, that they take their passion to the back room

Jack let himself be led through the teeming ocean of men. The back room was squashy and steaming hot, the sweat and smell of sex radiating off the bodies surrounding them. Jack suddenly felt disorientated as he was pushed hard against the cold stonewall, his head banging painfully backwards as the man tore at his clothes, prying them away from his body.

Jack gasped for breath as he twisted his lips out of the hot mouth that they had been sucked into. He pressed his left hand to the guy's shoulder and breathing deeply, managed to gasp out,

"Do you have a condom?"

* * *

"I'm home!" Jack called out, throwing open the front door of his home. It was a single story house with a large veranda surrounding the exterior. The house was relatively small, but it wasn't as if his family needed anything larger. He remembered when he and Doug had looked at it with a realtor and fell in love with it instantly. The simple lines and modern features made it a perfect place to live on the coast and the perfect house to raise their daughter.The sound of small feet come pounding from the back of the house and Jack dropped his bags as Amy came running toward him and leapt into his waiting arms. 

"Oh, I missed you," he said in a low voice, breathing in the strawberry smell of his blonde angel. He pushed her back to look at her from afar. "Have you grown since I last saw you?" he asked playfully.

She tried to push him over, "No," she said snidely. "You need glasses."

Jack scoffed. "I do not, I'm not that old." He saw the shadow of his lover leaning against the living room doorframe. "But Dougie is," he said happily. Amy laughed.

"Hey Aims, why don't you show daddy the picture you drew at school?"

"I don't like it," she protested, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's ugly."

"If it was ugly would it be on the fridge?"

Amy stomped off and Jack stood up embracing Doug tightly, running his hands over the contour of muscles in his partner's back. "Did you miss me too?" Doug asked as he pulled away from Jack slowly.

Jack looked at Doug slyly from beneath his growing hair, "What do you think?"

Doug shrugged, "Well, I don't know," he said playfully and arched an eyebrow.

Jack snaked an arm around Doug's waist and drew him close. He dipped his head and lightly sniffed the side of Doug's neck, inhaling the scent of his partner before trailing kisses up to his face and capturinghis lips in a tender kiss. Doug pressed Jack to him, his hands roaming his lover's back, gradually tightening his hold. Jack laughed softly into Doug's mouth before running his tongue over Doug's top lip. Doug suddenly pushed Jack away, turned and coughed into the sleeve of his jumper.

Jack stepped tentatively forward. "Are you OK?" He rubbed slow circles on Doug's back. Doug stopped after a while and gave Jack a weak smile.

"Yeah, I just came down with Amy's cold," he said and leaned into kiss Jack's lips one more time.

"Gross!" Amy sang out from the end of the hall.

Doug and Jack swapped glances and looked at Amy. She wrinkled her forehead and stepped closer to her dads. She held out the picture and Jack took it in his hands. "My god darling, that's wonderful," he said, beaming at the skill of their little girl. She flushed and snatched it out of his hands and danced off with it, humming to herself.

"So now she likes it," Doug said and coughed again. Jack moved into his lover's arms and enjoyed the feeling of warmth when the weather outside was starting to cool down. "Let's move your stuff out of the hall."

* * *

"And Sally said that Anna isn't invited to her party, and, and, because she gives crap presents—" 

"Amy don't say crap," Doug scolded to no response on Amy's behalf.

"--And that I aren't allowed to invite Anna to my party because—"

"That I am not," Doug corrected again. Amy paused for a minute then continued…

"--Because, Anna's older brother says mean stuff about you daddy so I says to Sally—"

"So I _said—"_

"Dougie!" Amy shrieked. "Let me finish!" she opened her mouth but seemed to lose her train of thought.

"You said to Sally…" Jack prompted

Her face lit up, "So I _said_ to Sally 'I wont invite Anna to my party' but the other day Anna gave me her rollup because, because she said she didn't want it and, and coz she wants to be my friend, so I wanna invite Anna but I aren't allowed to because I promised Sally," Amy finished rapidly to stop Doug picking up her mistakes. Jack, who was trying to follow, smiled and chuckled to himself.

Jack turned to Doug, who couldn't help but try to surpress a smile. "Oh, the troubles of 5 year-olds."

"Daddy!" Amy said, annoyed at him laughing at her. "Don't laugh at me! Do I invite Anna or not?!"

"Amy, your birthday isn't for three months," Jack said.

"Yeah, but I gotta make the guest list soon!"

"Well, what did Dougie say?" Jack asked and looked at Doug, who smiled.

"He said, 'ask daddy'," she recited, proud of herself to have remembered.

Doug smirked and collected the plates off the table. Jack finished off his wine and sat back. "If you want to invite her, then do it. I know you promised Sally, but sometimes you can change your mind about these things."

"But that doesn't mean you break your promises Amy," Doug said from the kitchen. "Sally is trying to be mean to Anna and make you not like her because Sally doesn't like her."

"Really?" Amy said and brought her cup over to the sink.

"Yes. So you invite Anna and tell Sally to go to hell and her brother to shuv his—"

"Don't listen to daddy," Doug said and picked Amy up. "Go play for a while then we'll give you a bath."

She raced out of the kitchen and down the hall to her bedroom. Jack got up and brought the rest of the mess over to the sink.

"So, did you have fun in New York?" Doug asked as he stacked the plates up in the dishwasher.

"Not really. I hate going to bloody in-services, pain in the ass. They think we need improvement on how to teach. Honestly, you'd think the methods behind teaching were as changeable as Amy's friends."

Doug laughed and caught Jack around the waist as he was about to leave the kitchen. "Youdidn't call last night," he whispered into Jack's ear and kissed the top of it lightly.

"Yeah, I went out for drinks with some of the people there. I came home late and didn't want to ring in case I woke Amy. And plus, I didn't know if you had an early shift to cover thismorning."

Doug turned him around to face him and brushed Jack's nose with his own. He pecked his partner's lips quickly, then tapped his bum. "Go give Amy a bath while I clean up here."

* * *

_SEX SCENE: if you don't like it you can skip down to dialogue after three paragraphs>_

"You OK?" Doug murmured into Jack's ear as he felt his partner wince at the intrusion.

Jack nodded and swallowed hard, "I'm OK," he gasped. He gently pushed his hips up to meet Doug's, "Keep going," he whispered. Doug leaned down and captured Jack's lips in his mouth, dragging them in, sucking them, licking them, remembering exactly how they tasted. Jack moaned from the back of this throat, "I missed you," he panted as he broke the connection between their lips to fill his lungs with air.

Doug slowed his fast rhythm and slipped his hands under Jack's back, pulling his partner's body to his own. Jack's chest was heaving and he slipped his legs lower down Doug's back. Doug nuzzled Jack's neck and nipped it lightly before claiming his lips in a slow, sensual kiss, gently probing his lover's mouth with his tongue. "I missed you too," he said softly and lifted himself up over Jack again. He bent down and kissed his nose tenderlybefore he startedthrusting into him again; this time, much slower than before.

Jack closed his eyes, taken away by the euphoria induced by Doug's body against his. He felt his body tighten and he gripped Doug's shoulders. "I can't last," he whimpered, and Doug felt between them and stroked Jack's hard cock up and down, and as he came, Doug did too, collapsing on top of him. Jack groaned loudly but Doug quickly covered his mouth with his hand. "Shh, you'll wake Amy."

Jack kissed the palm of Doug's hand, who smiled, taking it away replacingit with his lips. "When was the last time we've had screaming, raunchy sex?" Jack asked and chuckled, snuggling into Doug's arms, which wrapped around him as they always did after sex.

Doug seemed to ponder this, "sometime before we got Amy?"

Jack nodded, "Yeah, something like that." He laughed and rested his head on Doug's chest and reached out for his hand, entwining their fingers. "Maybe we should work on that."

"How?"

"Take her to Sally's or Anna's for a sleep over soon…"

Doug laughed and kissed his partner's sweaty forehead, "Are you bothered by the fact that Anna's older brother said things about us?"

"Ryan?" Jack asked and raised an eyebrow. "Schmuck. He's probably just pissed off because I'm failing him. But, I don't care."

"I do."

Jack looked up at him. "Why? I thought we were over this."

"I am, we are. It's just, I still don't like people judging us, and it's just something I can't get over. Like, if you're failing a kid it's, 'oh the fucking faggot McPhee's flunked me,' or if I catch someone breaking the law it's 'the cock sucking Sheriff busted me with drugs'."

Jack frowned. "Why do you get to be the cock sucker?"

Doug sighed, sat up and walked over to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, dampened it and came back over to the bed. He sat on the edge and gently wiped Jack's cum off his chest. Jack reached up and grabbed Doug's arm. "It's been too long to let them win now Doug," he whispered. "It's Capeside. Give them another scandal…it doesn't even have to be a scandal, it just has to be different for them to ridicule."

"It's not even the talk anymore Jack," Doug said and wiped his own chest down. "It's Amy, don't you worry that she'll be taunted and teased…"

"I do, everyday when I drop her off at school. But, I remember someone who once said to me, 'being a good parent means knowing that your child is bound to fall down. You've just gotta show them how to get back up'."

Doug nodded and Jack sat up and slid over next to Doug, "And that's exactly what we'll do," he whispered and kissed the side of Doug's lips. "Come on, let's get some sleep, I'm dead tired."

Jack grabbed the towel and tossed it into the bathroom. Doug crawled over Jack's legs and into his side of the bed, switching off the bedside lamp. There was a pause and Doug twitched lightly, but Jack felt it and sighed. "Go hang the towel up."

* * *

"Jack," Principle Hocking said as he approached Jack in the staff room. Jack looked up. "Shit, you look terrible," he said, the shook his head, reminding himself why he had advanced his youngest teacher. "I spoke to Peter and he's set the standard questions for _The Crucible_ for the entire 9th grade." He passed him a stack of papers. 

Jack put his coffee down and took them, glancing up. "But what about the question's I've got my class to do?" he asked, flipping through one of the booklets.

"Just tell them it'll add to their understanding."

Jack sighed, "They're gonna kill me," he muttered and rubbed his eyes deeply. The principle sat down next to him.

"Are you OK?" he asked.

Jack opened his eyes and smile weakly. "Yeah, I'm fine. I've just been really tired lately. And it doesn't help that I'm coming down with the cold that Doug got from Amy."

The principle chuckled. "The joys of having a young child," he patted Jack on the back. "If you need any time off just tell me."

"Thanks Thom". Jack took a last sip of his coffee as the bell rang, then he went to break the news to his rowdy class of freshmen.They were given to him especially; as the school felt that they would probably do better if they had a "cooler" teacher.

He flung the door open, "Stephen! Get off the desk!" he shouted. "Sit down everyone! I have some great news for you all," he said and pulled out the booklets. "More questions," he said to a collective groan. "Get used to it now people, there'll be more as you get older."

"Can't I just repeat the 9th grade for all eternity?" came a smart-arse shout from the back row. Jack stopped passing them out and looked up. "By all means, Jacob, but don't drag down the intellectuals in the class."

_FUCK. Did I actually say that? _

He threw the rest down on a girl's desk in the second row. "Hand them back," he snapped. The class went quiet. Jack opened his briefcase and pulled out the book. "Open to page 51, Act Two," he paused and collected his thoughts, "Ah—who wants to read the part of Elizabeth? …Emily? Thanks, and Proctor….Lucas? Thanks…"

* * *

He was walking down the corridors at lucnh to get back to the staff room when felt the same sick twist in his stomach that he had felt during his class with the seniors. He stopped to catch his breath. 

"Jack?"

He turned around

"Donna," he said and straightened up that little bit he was hunching over.

"Are you alright?" she asked him and took his briefcase from him. He shook his head lightly.

"I think I'm going to have to leave. Fuck, I had to start the year 11s on the themes today."

She rubbed his back. "Come on," she said and walked with him.

They entered the staff room and he sat down, rubbing his eyes open. "Do you want a glass of water?"

"No," he muttered, "I need to ring Doug, get him to pick me up."

"I'll call him and get Thom. But I need Jenny to take over reception for a minute, can you hold on?"

Jack nodded and stood up, clambered over to his pigeonhole. He emptied its contents into his briefcase and collected his stack of marking off the table.

"Jack!" Thom called out and rushed up. "You're free to go, I've got Hilary covering your year 11s. If you could just write out what you want them to do…" he handed Jack a substitute sheet and he took it, getting a pen out of the pockets of his pants. "Get some rest," he said. "You work too hard."

* * *

"You should have told me you weren't well," Doug scolded as he brought Jack a bowl of chicken soup. 

Jack was snuggled down on their couch in the living room, wrapped in his dressing gown and a blanket.

"I didn't think it would get this bad," he replied honestly, taking the steaming comfort food and smelling it. "You knew I wasn't well anyway Doug," he chuckled, "No thanks to you."

Doug shrugged and sat at the end of the couch. He picked up Jack's feet and placed them on his lap before he started to rub them gently. Jack moaned softly and sank into the couch, taking little sips of his soup."Do you like that?" Doug whispered.

Jack knew he didn't have to say anything, Doug knew the answer, but Jack also knew that Doug liked to be told what he was doing right.

"Yeah…" he purred. "It's so good…"

"Good," came Doug's response and he bent down and kissed Jack's foot. "Because I don't want you telling me how I don't treat you well…"

Jack raised an eyebrow at his lover's odd comment, and then suddenly the light dawned. He pulled his feet away and went to stand up, but Doug kept him down. "Oh, no, no, no, no," Jack said and tried to struggle out of Doug's hold without spilling the soup all over their white couch.

"Yes, yes, yes," Doug said, almost tauntingly.

Jack felt his muscles go weak and he surrendered, resigning to Doug's strength. He leaned forward and put the bowl on the coffee table and snuggled back into the couch, into Doug's embrace.

"I know you hate doctors," he said quietly, "But you need to see one."

"I know what's wrong with me," he protested feebly. "I have a cold-flu thing. We don't need to waste money on someone telling me that."

Doug sighed and kissed Jack's temple. "Love you."

"Love _you_."

* * *

"Waste of money," Jack grumbled. 

"At least now we have a _professional_ opinion," Jack threw Doug a sarcastic smile. "Unless you've suddenly graduated from medical school without my knowledge, I'd prefer to 'waste' money and know what's wrong with you."

"What's wrong with daddy?" Amy asked as she came wandering into the living room with her reader. "Can you read with me Dougie?"

"Sure sweatpea," he said and lifted her up on his lap and opened the Golden Book. "Daddy's got the flu."

"Really? From me?" she asked innocently enough.

"Yeah, thanks sweetheart," Jack said sardonically.

Jack was listening to Amy slowly reading the story and Doug correcting her once in a while. His eyes became heavy and the light above his head became blazingly bright.

"Doug," he said and Amy stopped reading.

"Mmm?"

"I'm going to go to bed…" he said quietly. "Can you give me a hand?"

"Sure."

He moved over to Jack on the couch and picked him up, sliding his hands under his back and under his knees. Jack smiled as Doug carried him into the bedroom and dropped him onto their waiting bed.

"Mmm…déjà vu."

Doug bent down and kissed Jack's lips softly. "Not tonight."

"I know…just…déjà vu. That's all."

Doug pulled the covers up and threw the extra blanket over his tired lover. "I'll be as quiet as I can be when I come in."

"That's OK."

"I'll be a while, maybe two hours. I need to put Amy to bed."

"OK, OK," Jack said.

"If you need anything, call out."

"You worry too much."

"Part of the job description baby," Doug whispered and bumped Jack's nose gently with his own before he captured his lover's lips in a long tender kiss.

* * *

A/N: So what do you think? Next Chapter hoping to come soon. 

Rock on,

Phoenix


	2. Part II

**These Days**

Rating: R

A/N: Hey everyone. Long time no update huh? I know, I know, lazy and shameful :-( Thanks to my wonderful reviewers: **ReRe04: **Thanks for the feedback. I know it was a little out of character for Jack…ok, it was a lot out of character for Jack but you're right, it's kinda integral to the story line so….** Sam Cdn:** thanks a lot Sam, everything you say is taken to heart so I'm happy you think it's OK so far…see you on SG?** JackDougie:** Um…yeah :-P I'm glad you like it….bad side coming true? Lol…I hope you still like it after this** and J.LaRae:** I read your review and I totally acknowledge the fact that the incubation period wasn't there, but um…cough read ahead…and I'll also acknowledge that I haven't been touched by the disease, so I'll try my best to do a good job.

The feed back you left was valuable and welcomed and I hope you like part II….even if you don't, leave a comment at the end.

_"It's coming round again / the slowly creeping hand_

_Of time and its demands / it settles in its place_

_Its shadow in my place / undignified and lame"_

ENJOY

* * *

Jack's eyes fluttered open only to slam back shut. Lights. Bright lights. Right above his head. The smell of baked potatoes came wafting toward his nose; the sound of echoing footsteps somewhere further away. He opened one eye slowly, getting his eyes accustomed to the bright room. He opened the other one. A white room.

Doug

Sitting beside his bed, asleep in an uncomfortable looking chair. Jack opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly felt lightheaded as his eyes came into contact with tubes connected to his body, a drip taped flat into the vein in his arm, the methodically beeping monitor.

"Doug," he croaked out, barely over a whisper.

Doug didn't wake up. He was in his uniform, unshaven, and looking like he hadn't slept in days. Days. How long had he been in here? Why was he in here? What happened? Where was Amy?

"Doug," he tried again, straining his throat.

Doug shifted and his eyes fluttered open and met Jack's. He bolted out of the chair and into the hallway outside where he asked a nurse to get a doctor. He came back in and tears welled up in the bottom of his eyes. He saw the fear plastered over Jack's face and was about to move forward but a doctor and two nurses came in and Doug drifted somewhere to the back of the room.

"Mr McPhee," one of the nurses addressed him and snapped him out of his trance. "Can you answer a few questions for me?" she asked sweetly as the other nurse and pulled his arm out and took a blood sample.

He was looking between the two, not sure of who to pay attention to. The doctor stepped forward and checked something of his drip and flicked it, making notes.

"Mr. McPhee…" the nurse said again. He looked in her direction.

"Sure," he answered.

"What's your first name?"

"Jack."

"And the names of your daughter and partner?"

"Amy Lindley and Doug Witter— what am I doing here?"

"In due time Mr. McPhee." The doctor said, not glancing up from his notebook.

"What is your occupation?"

"I'm a teacher."

"Of what subject and where at?"

"English, at Capeside High."

"What month is it?"

"October."

"And do you know the date, or the day of the week?"

Jack hesitated and started shaking his head lightly. "How long have I been in here?"

"I ask the questions Mr. McPhee," the nurse said quickly. "Do you know the date or the day?"

"No," Jack said, starting to get irritated.

The nurse turned and shared a glance with the doctor who nodded and the two girls left.

The doctor was around Doug's age, tall and thin. He had light brown hair that hung over his eyes and glasses that reminded him of Where's Wally. He had perfectly shaped lips, Jack noticed, and strong hands, which seemed to carry the weight of his decisions and diagnosis with ease. He had a crooked smile, one that was not unpleasant, but somehow comforting.

Jack saw that Doug was sitting in a chair at the end of the room, looking down at his feet. Why was he being so distant? Why wasn't here holding his hand? Why did he seem sad rather than happy that Jack had woken up?

"Why am I in here?" Jack asked again. He looked over at Doug once more then turned to the doctor.

"Mr. McPhee—"

"Call me Jack."

"Jack, I'm Dr. Jonathan Price and we admitted you here four days ago when Sheriff Witter found you lying unconscious on your bedroom floor."

Jack looked confused, was about to open his mouth but Dr. Price continued.

"It seems you were suffering rather badly from a cold that was brought into your house through your daughter Amy—"

"Where is Amy?" Jack asked quickly.

"We'll get to that," the doctor said.

"Is she safe?"

"She's perfectly OK, but we need to explain something to you."

Jack looked at his partner and so did Dr. Price. He moved over to Doug and whispered something in his ear. Doug's eyes watered and more tears fell down his cheeks. Dr Price seemed to be searching for some sort of confirmation. Doug wiped his eyes on the cuff of his shirt and shook his head as Jack heard him mutter, "I can't."

Dr. Price patted his back and moved to Jack's bedside and pulled up the chair Doug was asleep on and sat down. He leaned forward and took a deep breath.

"Jack. You're HIV positive."

He seemed to wait for an answer but since he didn't get one he continued. "As I mentioned, you reacted badly to the common cold and at first when you saw a doctor…Dr. Kennedy…he said that it looked like you had the flu?" Jack nodded numbly. "Well, you're lymph nodes were swelling and you started to not be able to move so you stayed in bed, am I right?" Jack nodded.

"Doug tells me you got out of bed to use the bathroom and you collapsed. That's when he called us and we started doing some tests. It seemed odd that you had been experiencing the symptoms that Doug was describing and only then to have your lymph tissue infected …" he trailed off. "A few of my colleagues and I had a feeling what you may have been suffering so we looked up a few books then decided to check your records from the last times you've been tested and as we suspected, you've been negative."

**FUCKBUGGERWANKERSHITTINGARSEHEADANDHOLE**

"Do you have any idea how you could have been infected Jack?"

Jack glanced at Doug who was now standing at the window, looking in the gardens out the back of the hospital. Jack stayed silent and Doug turned slowly, his tear stained face made Jack's heart break over and over again, as though the smashing of it by a hammer couldn't get the pieces small enough.

"I—I…" he stammered, unable to find his voice.

"Just say it. You fucked someone else," Doug whispered cruelly and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Jack sat up higher in bed, opening his mouth to say something but couldn't seem to manage anything. The emotions he was bottling up before started to slip as he felt his bottom lip tremble and his vision blur.

"Is Doug safe?"

Dr. Price nodded. "We had him tested, Amy too."

"And…?" he said, scared of the outcome

"She's fine."

Jack took a deep breath, but it wasn't enough to stop all his limbs shaking.

"I know this is terrible news Jack," Jonathan went on, "And we've had to order in your medication from Boston, we didn't have the drugs out here," Jack closed his eyes and tears ran slowly down his face.

"The drug's we're putting you on is taken in a combination, called Cocktails. By taking these drugs, they will reduce the viral load in your blood system. The line of treatment is called HAART, which stands for 'Highly Active Antiretroviral Therapy'. I spoke to the specialist doctor at the Boston Hospital and he says that the drug has been a miracle worker, dramatically reducing the…" he paused as if trying to find the right words, " HIV related…deaths… by many years."

Jack nodded and wiped the tears from his face.

"How many sex partners have you had since…" he checked Jack's records, "May? The last time you were tested?"

Jack was silent and gazed out the window. He sighed and muttered, "Two."

"Doug Witter?"

"Yes."

"And…?"

Jack avoided the gaze of the doctor. "I don't know," he said rather sheepishly, suddenly feeling naked and open to all scrutiny.

Jonathan only nodded and continued, "When did you have sex with him?"

Jack looked down at his shaking hands, "Two weeks ago…when I was in New York for a teaching in-service, I can't recall the date…."

Dr. Price nodded again and took note. "So you don't know the person who infected you?"

Jack shook his head.

"Did you engage in unprotected sex?"

Jack rubbed his forehead, trying to recall. "Aren't you supposed to tell me what happened?"

Dr. Price raised his eyebrows. "So you're unsure?"

Jack nodded. "I thought he put one on…I remember asking him…"

The doctor was silent and Jack sneezed into his sleeve, when he looked up hie eyes were watering. "Where's Amy?" he asked then sniffed, "I want to see my daughter."

Jonathan shook his head; "She's been taken to New York to stay with Doug's brother and his wife. I'm not sure what Doug's got planned, but I'm sure they'll be back in Capeside soon, now that you're awake."

* * *

Doug doubled over out the front of the hospital, resting his hands on his thighs. He breathed in deeply, and wiped the tears out of his eyes before he straightened up and pulled his keys out of his back pocket. Making his way over to the patrol car, his shirt wildly un-tucked, a sickening feeling of guilt washed over him and he stopped.

_How could he leave Jack like that? How would he feel finding out he was positive? He couldn't just abandon the love of his life? Would Jack be as cowardice as he was being now?_

His thought process could go no further as his ring tone sounded from his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the number. _Joey and Pacey_

"Yeah?" he asked quietly, his voice catching in his throat.

"Hey Douggie," began Pacey's voice, softer than usual, with a barely detectable hint of trepidation. "Has there been any progress?"

Doug swallowed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand, his keys banging against his face. "He woke up," he murmured.

There was a slight pause, then, "He woke up? What's happened? Did you tell him? Have you called mum? Andie?"

Doug felt his brain whir into overtime and collapse at the entourage of questions that needed answers and validations. He leaned against the nearest car and closed his eyes. "Can I call you back Pace?"

"Of course you can," he said quickly. "Joey and I are home all day, whenever you're ready."

Doug hung up and slipped it back into his pocket. He pulled himself reluctantly away from the car and moved back to the automatic doors of the hospital. He walked not only 30 metres when Dr. Jonathan Price came up to him.

"I thought you left."

Doug raised his keys, "Nearly."

"I'm glad you didn't. Let's go talk in my office."

Doug followed him numbly, remembering the steps from all the other times they had met in there before. He sat down in the comfortable black leather chair and rubbed his eyes.

"Jack needs you to be here, even if you don't want to be."

"I do want to be here, with him. But do you have any idea how hard it is to deal with?" Doug snapped defensively at the insinuations of him being a selfish partner.

"No, I don't," Dr Price said levelly. "But I'm sure I can fathom the magnitude of your emotions: anger, sadness, regret, denial, love, anguish, hate, resentment…"

Doug raised his hand, "We get the picture."

"My point is; Jack's feeling that way too, even more so than you probably are. But at the same time, it's all self-depreciating. He's angry with himself for doing what he did: for contracting the virus, for cheating on you, for not being careful. There's a massive list of things, and he is going to need your love and support to get through this."

Doug considered this. "And what if I can't do it? What if I can't be the man who puts on the bright face when there's doom and gloom around him? Let's be realistic Jonathan; Jack is going to die."

Jonathan smiled, "Everyone is too, Doug. But that doesn't mean you abandon them. It doesn't mean you shouldn't love them. It means that you should love them more. And anyway, I know you're not the kind of man who walks away from duty and obligation, so why would you turn your back on love?"

Doug stared unseeingly out the window. "How is he?"

"How do you think he is?"

"Not good?"

"And a half," Jonathan said and sighed. "I want you to go and sit with him."

"What should I say?"

"You don't have to say anything, just be with him. Let him feel that he still has you."

"He still does," Doug said softly, paused for a moment then stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I need to make a phone call."

* * *

Doug opened the door quietly and slipped in. Thinking Jack was asleep, he resumed his former position in the chair beside the bed. He closed his eyes, only momentarily, because the sound of his lover's voice stirred them open.

"You didn't leave?" Jack rasped.

Doug's eyes softened as he tried to get a look at what he presumed to be Jack's tear streamed face, but couldn't as he was facing away from him.

"No," he replied and reached out a hand to stroke Jack's, who slipped it out of Doug's warm touch. "Jack, look at me," Doug said softly.

Jack sighed and turned his head toward Doug. His eyes were red and stained with guilt and regret. "I've called Andie," he said finally, taking in all the emotions he never knew existed under Jack's beautiful blue eyes. "She's coming out to see us tomorrow."

"When can I see Amy?" Jack asked as though what Doug had said was completely irrelevant. "Why did you take her away?"

Doug ran a hand through his hair, "I was advised to take her away from the stress. I couldn't look after her, Jack, not between staying here and trying to do some work and dealing with relatives…" he trailed off. "Amy's been spending a lot of time with Grams in New York and she's coming down with Pacey and Joey in two days time."

Jack simply nodded and looked away. He squeezed his eyes shut and coughed violently. Doug stood up and leaned over Jack, rubbing his back but Jack shied away from the contact. Doug moved back, straightened the sheets on his bed.

"I need to make a few more phone calls, I'll be back later," he said pausing for the reply which he knew he wouldn't get. He walked slowly toward the door and stopped, looking back over at his lover, his best friend, his partner and uttered the words he thought he wouldn't be able to say so soon, "I love you Jack."


	3. Part III

**These Days**

Rating: er…well, I'm not sure coz of the new system….oh! I think…whatever that's means…..

A/N: OK, laziness blah blah blah……I know, you know, so why should I waste anymore of your time? Enjoy what I have written and come back in a few months when I've written some more :P Thanks to **ALL** who **reviewed**, you know its means a lot.

_"This life well it's slipping through my hands / These days turned out nothing like I had planned"_

* * *

Amy entered the room hesitantly, wincing at the creak of the door. She'd been warned to be gentle with her dad, but not told exactly what was wrong, which made her worry. 

He didn't look that bad, except maybe the dark circles under his eyes. She sat on the chair that was still warm from where Doug was seated not long ago when Joey and Pacey and Grams had come rushing down the hospital corridor. They decided to have an "adults meeting" so she slipped in to spend time with her dad.

She lent forward on her elbows and whispered, "Dad?"

He didn't move so she stood up and took little steps in the new shoes Joey and bought her, towards the bed. She studied his face. The dark hair was getting longer, and she wondered why he hadn't got a haircut recently. She remembered asking him, and Dougie had said that he liked it long, but Amy wasn't sure, it made him look scruffy and not like the other dads. Then again, Jack wasn't like the other dads anyway, so what did it matter?

Her piercing blue eyes wandered about the surroundings, beeping machines and tubes, it gave her the creeps. She heard the creak of the door and turned suddenly, feeling guilty, but unsure what about. Doug moved into the room and went to pick her up but she struggled.

"Don't," she whined. "I wanna stay here."

Doug looked down at her big eyes, confused and scared. "You can't stay in here Princess," he whispered and squatted on his haunches before her. "Let me take you home to get some stuff to play with, we might be here a while."

"Why?" she asked stubbornly, crossing her arms over her little chest. "What's wrong with daddy?"

Doug closed his eyes. _The inevitable question. "What's wrong with daddy?"_

He rubbed his hands over his face and avoided the question, "Let's go home. I don't want dad to wake up yet, he needs sleep."

She took a last look of Jack and led the way out of the room. Doug lingered behind and placed a kiss on the side of Jack's mouth, brushing the dark hair out of the peacefully closed eyes. "I like your hair long," he muttered to no one in particular and then left the room also.

* * *

"Thanks for coming down so quickly," Doug said, unlocking their house and pushing the door open. 

Amy ran down the entrance corridor and into her room. Joey smiled, "Don't thank us Doug," she said, "We're family, we do these things because we love you, not because there was a binding clause on the marriage certificate."

Doug nodded and wiped his dampening eyes on his sleeve. "Jeez, I stink," he said softly.

"Take a shower Dougie, we'll watch the Aimster," Pacey said and patted Doug on the back before he wandered to his bedroom and closed the door.

Pacey and Joey made their way into the kitchen.

"Jesus Pacey, how's Doug going to explain this to Amy?"

Pacey filled the kettle and took three mugs from the cupboard, "I don't think he's going to Jo."

"What—"

"I think he's asked Grams to explain it to her."

Joey stared pensively out the window, watching the crashing waves run up the damp sand, the seagulls soaring overhead and suddenly she felt that everything was so futile. The injustice of the situation seemed so unfounded, the harshness truly made humanity something to fear.

"Jo?" Pacey asked, placing the steaming mug in front of her. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I wish," she muttered and Pacey smiled weakly, passing her a tissue and she wiped her eyes. He knelt on the ground in front of her and took her hands, warming them from the autumn chill.

"Tell me," he whispered, "Why you're crying."

"Pace—" she started, but she couldn't find the words.

"Jack's not going to die," Pacey said; adjusting himself, discomfort greeting his knees.

She shook her head, "Eventually, he will," she said softly. "But that's not why I'm upset. I guess I'm upset for the life Jack and Doug will never have. For the life Amy will have because of it…" she shook her hands out of Pacey's a stood up. "No one should have to live with this disease, it's just so sad."

* * *

Doug sat on the edge of their bed and unbuttoned his shirt slowly, trying desperately to imagine Jack sitting on the opposite edge of the bed, laughing about something that happened at work that day or happy that he didn't have to stay behind for detention duty. 

Slipping the light blue shirt off his shoulders, he tried to remember how warm Jack's hands felt when they traced lazy circles on his back, the wet comfort of his soft lips making their way down his neck and across his jaw, the feeling of being at peace when Jack's body was lying under his, exhausted and dreamy…

He walked into their ensuite and turned on the hot water, running his fingers under it to test the temperature. He glanced over at the vanity and realised it had been a long time since he had done any sort of manic cleaning. Toothbrushes not in their right spot, medication lying next to a half filled glass of water and the top drawer open, a packet of unopened condoms, still wrapped in plastic.

He pushed the draw shut and stepped into the shower, feeling exhausted and light-headed. The hot water was scorching his back, but he needed to feel something, the growing sense of his own numbness was creeping into his veins and he didn't like the connotations.

He had spent days crying whilst Jack was still in the coma and he felt cried-out, but wanted to keep going, though knowing his body had stopped crying to prevent him becoming sick. Trying his hardest, he couldn't even remember his last decent meal…maybe it was Jack's tortellini with the McPhee family secret sauce…that was two weeks ago….maybe…

Jack cheated on me Jack cheated on me Jack cheated on me Jack cheated on me 

He rested his forehead on the shower door and clutched at his aching heart, so sure it was going to burst from pain and anguish. He loved Jack totally and dreamed up their perfect life together, and now…he didn't know what was going to happen now…play it as it comes? He hoped Grams would say something of comfort but only looked broken as she had stared into the hospital bedroom…

* * *

"Here," Joey said and passed Doug his mug of coffee. They were sitting in the living room and Amy was sitting on Pacey's lap in the armchair closest to the fire. Doug accepted the mug nd wrapped his hands around it. 

There was a moment of silence before Amy spoke.

"What's wrong with daddy?"

The three adults glanced at each other, before Joey and Pacey's settled on Doug, who was intent on staring somewhere off into the distance. He blined his eyes closed and breathed deeply.

"Dougie?" Amy asked again. "Uncle Pacey? Aunty Joey? What's wrong with daddy?"

"He's not well Princess," came Doug's quiet reply.

"Is he going to get better?"

"Yes," Doug said looking up at her, then looking at the clock. Andie's going to be here soon with Joseph, I don't know how to explain this to them."

"It's kind of self-explanatory, don't you think?" Pacey asked as he put Amy on the ground and watched as she danced out of the room.

"I know…but…It's just going to be hard," he looked down at his empty mug and didn't even remember finishing it. "And the school…no one in this town is going to want to be taught by an HIV positive teacher…"

"No one will know," Joey offered.

"Are you kidding?" Doug scoffed and put the mug on the coffee table. "This is Capeside, everyone will know in a week's time, when Mr. McPhee is no longer at school…the principal's been calling me…asking too many questions…"

"We'll figure out someway to work this out Doug," Joey said and scooted over to pull him into an embrace.


	4. Part IV

**These Days**

A/N: OK, so, this has been a little slow coming here, I've actually had it written for a LONG time but I don't know why I never updated it. I think I finally figured out the new system of rating, I can't say it makes total sense to me, but I think I know what I'm rating things. HA! What an achievement.

Thanks to **MadScientistGirl **and **Sam**, who have helped keep our Jack/Doug C2 community (reasonably) updated, I'm sorry I haven't been around for a while. Well, this is the next instalment and I hope you **enjoy**

_" Control well it's slipping right through my hands / these days turned out nothing like I had planned"_

* * *

"You have to understand the position we'd be put in, Sheriff," Thom Hocking said levelly, and rubbed his forehead. 

"And you have to understand the position _we're_ in," Doug said more forcefully. He sighed and sat back in the old tatty vinyl chair, glancing at Joey looking pensively at the ground. She looked up, met his gaze and turned to the principle.

"If you fire him, it's discrimination, you know that, right?" She asked, her brown eyes flashing.

"I'm aware of that Mrs. Witter," Thom answered. "But we're trying to do what's best for the children of Capeside High….think about their safety."

"Safety?" Pacey growled, "What do you think Jack's gonna do? Fuck them?"

"Pacey," Doug snapped, turning to face his angered brother who was leaning against the far wall. _Getting testy, probably never thought he'd be back in here again_.

"He's a risk, what if he cuts himself?" Principle Hocking asked.

"Then you give him a band-aid!" Pacey said incredulous. "Jesus, every teacher you employ is a liability. They could be get pissed off and bring a gun to the corridors, they could inflict low self esteem and have a student suicide," he felt all eyes in the room stare at him, unblinking. "My point is; this is the same situation. The only difference is that we know that it _could_ happen. And call me crazy, but see it as a positive, that we can work to make sure that nothing happens to inflict the disease upon anyone else."

His pleading eyes focussed on the middle aged man and watched his mind tick over. "I must do what the parents want; otherwise we loose support and students. It's responding to the masses," he looked imploringly at Doug, resigned to staring at his fingernails. "If anyone can understand that concept Sheriff, it's you."

Doug stood. "Responding to the needs of the masses I can understand, but taking away the life of one of the most popular faculty members, I don't."

"I'm not taking anyone's life away Sheriff, he did that all by himself."

Doug, who had before been calm launched at Thom Hosking from around the desk, yet Pacey grabbed him and hauled him off the principal.

"No, Doug," he breathed, "It'll make things worse."

Doug straightened up and pushed past Pacey and Joey out of the room. Pacey followed him, but Joey lingered behind. She walked to Thom.

"You may sit behind this desk now and feel like a big man, but our lawyer is going to sue the school for all it's got if anything happens to Jack's job."

She smiled sweetly and pulling her coat over her shoulders, left the room, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Andie was in Jack's room, sitting on the chair, which had become a permanent fixture of the room's décor along with many others scattered around the room. 

Her blond hair sat just under her shoulders and her eyes were red, staring off at some distant thing within Jack's closed ones, which she hoped would give her something to cling to. She reached out and fumbled her hand into his, squeezing tightly, not wanting to wake him, yet wanting to wake him at the some time. _'Surprise' she would whisper in his ear and hope that her presence would keep him strong._

_But it's not like that anymore. He'd want to be strong for his own family, for Doug, for Amy, for Jen._ Andie sighed and looked behind her as she heard the door creak open.

"Still asleep?" Joseph asked quietly, carrying in his hands two polystyrene cups of coffee and handed one to his daughter. She accepted and sipped slowly, cautiously.  
"Yep…" she whispered.

Joseph pulled a chair up beside her's. "Doug called me, they'll be here in about 3 minutes," he said with a chuckle, "That guy is pretty precise."

Andie smiled warmly. "Seems funny, doesn't it dad? That Doug could have been my brother-in-law if I had married Pacey, yet he is still my brother-in-law because Jack practically married him."

Joseph smiled grimly, "But anything could come of this Andie. Jack might not make it through."

"He'll make it," Joey said, entering through the open door, flanked by the Witter brothers. "He's a fighter."

"Joey! Pacey! Doug!" Andie said and got up, hugging them all. She lingered at Doug and he smiled weakly, unsure of what to say.

They turned back to Jack, asleep, and decided silently that they would talk elsewhere.

They found Grams sitting in the waiting room, reading Amy a story. Amy looked up and wriggled off Gram's lap and flung herself into Doug's arms. He picked her up and ran his fingers through her blond hair.

"Grams was reading me the next chapter of the Faraway Tree, she said that you might be too busy to," Amy whispered and Doug smiled warmly.

"Thanks Evelyn," he said and placed Amy back on the ground.  
"Anytime Douglas."

Joseph stepped forward, "Doug, we'd like to talk about this in private, not in front of Amy."

"I don't have anywhere to leave her," Doug said helplessly, rubbing his eyes, his heart aching and his mind racing from the earlier confrontation with the principal.

"I'll take her Doug," Joey offered, and turned to Amy, "Lets go get some lunch at McDonalds," she suggested and Amy's eyes lit up.

"Sound's good to me," she said and picked up her backpack with a colouring book and pencils inside.

Doug nodded and mouthed, 'thanks' before turning back to the family. "Where are we going to do this?"

Dr. Price had led them to an empty examination room and left them to sort it all out. Doug was leaning against the bench and his eyes were fluttering open and closed. Joseph and Andie were standing side by side near the closed door, Grams took a seat on one of the hospital chairs and Pacey was lying down on the examination bed.

There was a moment of awkward silence, broken by Andie who moved towards Doug and took his hand. "I guess I had better start the ball rolling," she said.

"No need Andie, I think I will," he said viciously, interrupting her. "What the bloody hell happened? Why does my son have AIDS?" he continued gruffly.

Doug's mouth opened and shut twice before he could speak, feeling hot under the collar, feeling everyone's eyes on him. "He doesn't have AIDS," he managed to say meekly.

"AIDS/HIV…it's the same thing. Why does he have it? Why don't you have it?"

Sensing Doug's discomfort at such a question, Pacey sat up and addressed Jack's father. "It's obvious isn't it? HIV is an STD, how else would he have picked it up if he hadn't had sex with another man?"

Joseph looked affronted, "And where would…there's no other…gays…in Capeside!"

"There is in New York," Grams added, smoothing the creases in her skirt.

"When was he in New York?"

"About two and a half weeks ago," Doug mumbled.

"I thought it took longer for the body to detect the virus and make people sick," Andie voiced.

"That's why I didn't even suspect," Doug whispered, "And why should I have thought that anyway? I didn't know he was going to be unfaithful, I was always under the impression that he was happy with me, was happy with Amy…with his life," he trailed off, and the room became quiet. "And now we have the threat of losing everything: his job, respectability…more than anything else…him."

"What about the medication?" Joseph asked, "Wont that…stop him from…"

"It wont stop him from dying, no," Grams said levelly, "It does, however, slow the dying process, it prolongs his life."

"By how much?"

"It depends, there is no set life expectancy when it comes to HIV," Grams explained. "And I've spoken to Dr. Price, and since Jack's still young, he has fight left in him yet."

Doug pushed off from the bench and walked out of the room. There was a moment held, before Grams went after him.

"Lunch anyone?" Pacey asked.

* * *

"Douglas, please wait," Grams called out after the retreating figure she caught sight of, skulking down the sterile corridor. 

He turned back to look at her and stopped, waiting for her to catch up. She smiled at him appreciatively and they began walking again, down into the garden, where Jen had recorded her tape for Amy, and Doug recognised the place instantly, and tried his best to ignore it. The whole area stirred enough emotions without the need of Jen's death to re-emerge.

"Are you alright?" Grams asked as they sat down in a bench, Doug resting his elbows on his knees, staring at his feet.

He turned to look at her and answered savagely, "Oh yeah, I'm doing great."

She raised her eyebrows at him.

"I'm sorry Evelyn," he apologised, sitting back and running his hands through his hair. "Truth be told I'm so totally, unbelievably, remarkably pissed off…but I can't tell anyone. I have to be understanding and be there for him because he needs me more than ever now, but I don't know if I can do it some days."

She rubbed his arm fondly, "I know this is hard. In fact, it's probably the most difficult thing you'll ever have to face, but it will make you stronger, eventually."

Doug cradled his face in his hands, "I didn't deserve this. I did nothing to deserve this, I was good to him, and I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. So what does he do in return? Throws it all away. Why? Was he not happy? I didn't know if he was. Did he feel unloved…I hope he didn't. I…I just don't know why, and that will haunt me until I get an answer."

"And what if there is no answer? What would happen if Jack becomes fully conscience again and he can't give you an answer?"

Doug shook his head. "I don't know…but I can't imagine Jack doing something like this without a reason."

There was a pause. "Are you going to stay with him and Amy?" she asked.

He looked surprised, "Of course. I still love him, and she's become my daughter, I wouldn't abandon them, not now, not ever."

* * *

please review and tell me what you think  
Phoenix 


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